Post by BIGFANBOY on Apr 25, 2008 3:01:44 GMT -5
HAROLD AND KUMAR ESCAPE FROM GUANTANAMO BAY
Review by Gary Dean Murray
Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay starts with a bowel movement joke, a thingy joke and a self-love joke all within about two minutes. The writers want you to know from the first flickering flames of this cinematic masterpiece exactly what to expect. So here comes the story (I fear to call it a plot). Harold has the hots for his neighbor and not wanting to wait for her to come back from Amsterdam, he decides to take Kumar to Europe in order to find the girl and surprise her. On the plane Kumar decides he cannot wait to get high (he’s going to Amsterdam - the dope capital of the world) and whips out a smokeless bong, which the other passengers think is a bomb.
This mix-up sends them back to the states where a Homeland Security agent (Rob Corddry) is waiting. This bumbling buffoon is representation of the stereotypical Good Old Boy Republican USA. He is unthinking and clueless, bellowing orders without a flicker of life between his ears.
Well, our boys are sent to Gitmo and just as they are about to eat ‘c*#kmeat sandwiches’ and opportunity to escape is offered. They take a Cuban raft to Miami where they go and see an old college buddy. As they get to his mansion, Harold and Kumar find that they are lucky enough to be at a bottomless party, a soiree full of strippers and porn star wanna-be’s strutting around naked. Of course not wanting to disappoint the ladies, our host rises out of the water showing a mass of pubic hair that would make a gorilla envious. Now, here comes the big plot point - Harold and Kumar decide to go to Texas to get help from another former college buddy. He’s a high up in the government, planning for his eventual run for the highest office in the land. They figure that this guy can clear up all the misunderstandings about H&K being terrorists. This guy is also getting married to Kumar’s old girlfriend, a former stoner that our Kumar still has feelings for. Kumar sees this an opportunity to win back his gal.
Can we say road trip? Sure, sure you can.
So H&K traverse across the country, mainly in Alabama where they come across (wait for the stereotypes) mean looking black people, animal killing rednecks, inbred freaks and the Klan. Haven’t we seen all this before? Only about 1,000 times. They also run into Neil Patrick Harris playing Neil Patrick Harris. The former Dr. Doogie is the same as he was before, a crazed man, this time on a magic mushroom binge. His scenes are the funniest and only slightly original part of this exercise in stupidity.
Our writing/directing duo of Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg do not show many skills in either category. The directing has a feeling of ‘Let’s just set up a camera and capture something funny’ without any thought to pacing and context. The writing is simplistic and blatantly stereotypical which could have been excused if it were funny. Black people like grape soda? Really? Old people see every dark skinned person as a terrorist? Really? Really? Jews are money hungry? Really? Really? Really?
Rob Corddry screams his lines like a crack infused gorilla let loose in the fine crystal department of Macy’s. I know he is a funny performer, he was on The Daily Show for years, but this in a painful exercise in excess. John Cho is a decent looking guy and not a bad actor. I wish someone in Hollywood would realize that he can do something and give him a shot. The same can be said for Kal Penn. But stuck in this bad Cheech and Chong rehash of love for hash doesn’t make a career. Remember that Cheech and Chong made the very funny Up in Smoke. Then they made about six painfully unfunny sequels.
H&KEFGB is going to make a ton of money and break sales records when it eventually comes out of DVD in the ‘un-rated’ version. How this film got its R rating is an unsolved mystery. It skates the edge of NC-17 to a degree seldom seen. It is a sophomoric movie made for sophomores. Crude, tasteless and without any redeeming values is a perfect way to sum up this wreck.
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